


Are you having a hork at my hippo?

by Twigsandrocksmakegoodsandwhich



Category: Dylan Is In Trouble & Dylan Will Not Participate - YouTube
Genre: Alternate Universe - Raised by Gay Vultures, Awkward First Times, Bottom Dylan, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dylan reads fanfiction, Dylan was Adopted, First Kisses, Getting high on burnt orange juice, I literally write this with my eyes closed, Julius is an Expert at Pole-Dancing, Julius is in the Closet, M/M, Meeting the Family, Megan/Beth Fanfiction, Sexy Sour Patch Kids Eating, This is worse than the description makes it seem, Top Julius, Twerking Parties, Wig licking, You might think I'm joking about the 'eyes closed' thing but I'm not, You've been warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 02:28:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20418392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twigsandrocksmakegoodsandwhich/pseuds/Twigsandrocksmakegoodsandwhich
Summary: Dylan has lived in the small town of Spoon all his life. He spends most of his free time playing Episode and eating cheese. He spends the weekends with his parents and the weekdays pretending to do pay attention in class. His usually routine is disrarmpted when the new kid, Julius, shows up. Now all he can hink asbout is him. bUt Julius is sooooo straight.





	1. OH NO HE'S IS HAHT

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Fandom](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Fandom).

> I'm doing this as a waning. DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME FOR MY BAD GRAMMER OKAY SOME PEOPLE HAVE DIFICULTIES WITH ENGLISH ESPESIALLY NATIVE SPEAKERS
> 
> ALSO
> 
> THIS IS SIRIUS SO DON'T GO 'Nice joke dildo' I WANT ACTUALLY HONEST REALY TRUE HONESTLY TRUTHFUL REALITY CRITISIZM
> 
> Now enjoy! \\($^$)/

It was a hot and sweaty feeling monday. dylan was jerking his pineappl to fanficion of Megan and Tessa from one of his favorite Episodes, Bad Boy's Girl. Suddenlty, his younger sister broke the door down. "Dylan, yer gunna bah late to school, you UGLY!" that made Dylan jump up and run all the way to school. 

School was going normal until the Englsh classroom doors burstsed upen. Dylan turned his head quickly and he saw the hottest man hes ever sean. Dylan moned out lout. Everyone turned to look at him but the teacher just shoot hid head because hes used to teenagers moning in his classroom. julius intoroduced himself than sat down next to dylan. 

dylan spent most of the day drooling over julius who didnotwouldnot notice him. he sighed as he ran all the way home.

he walkeds into his cardbored house and greeted his mems. his mims adopted him when they found him inside the stomach of a dead goat. his mams are vultures. his 184 siblings are also vultures. 

"mummy how did you and mommy meet?" dylan asked.

"i was having an existincial crisis because i realized i wasn't a cow and then she walked up to me and said sheds so anything for money so i ate her out and then we dranks seven bottles of wine and then we got married." dylans mummy said.

dylan nodded and went to bed.


	2. I'M NOT GAY!!!1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dylan tries to befriend juliues and then julies is like "no you gayfo" and so it didn't do wel like pie asparagoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wiw who knw writing fanfixction woudl eb so hard xd

on the next day of sc hool dylan decided to sit next to julius at lunch. julius turned to look at him. "what are you doing/'  
"i wanna be friends!" dylan said, julius backed away. "no, i herd rumers." dylan looked confused. "what kinda rumnmefs?!" that made julius roll his eyes. "that your gay".  
Dylan gaASpEd. bhe had never heard anything so outrasgous. "i;'mf not hay i;m bio!~"

julisu got up. "being bisepual is worse! i hate all the gays because it is disguesting and I'M NOT gidisteing to im not gay!!!"  
than julies marchs away with everyone looking at him weirdly because it's fucking weird to hate the gays in modern america don't try and argue with me reder it is.


	3. PLESE BEY MYE FRIND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens :c

three weeks passed of dylan trying to get juliuses attention but he kepted failinh spo he had to try spomething new. something boys a;lwayus do in a;ll thos mobvies he likes. stalk julius-kun until he falls in lovew. gob dylan loves romantic comedies that are also c hikc-fila-flics. 

afyer school dylan followed julius home. he hid in the bushes until fouir in ther morning, then he climbed seven floor sto ge to juliuss apartment. he snuckerd into julius's room and woke julius up. julius was confused and scared, rightully so. dylansh hugged juliua,. "please be my friend, jukies!" dyklabn begged, looking julius in the eyes. juliuss sighed. "okay but only is you pay me, i wasnt $84 an hour." SYlan squeraled like the ten year old girls he secretly is. dylna is eisnelly feeling tired si ge awbed. "wow, you must be slee[y?" julius said. dykabn bkidded so juklius sighed again. "i guess you can sleep in bed with me toniught"

the two of them laid under the covers together, trying depserately not to ginger each other. eventually they both fell asleep. the two of them later woke up to jjuliuses clock was that bleeping like a adult tv show and weirdly theys was i n a 69 positions. they awkwardly got out of that position and lefvt the apart ment complex. Normally dylan ran to school but julius isn't that fast so he decided to walk. julius hopped beside him. dylan felts good about today, finally having a real friend. unless his imaginary girlfriend, Misoa, coubts.


End file.
